you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
her facebook's as public as her vagina
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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