no, he came in my armpit
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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