HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
