At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize