I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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