Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
