I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Betty ford says i'm here all night
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
