scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
