he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
