So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Are we still banned from the library?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
