Do vagina's smell?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I would fuck him just for his dog
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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