ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The air was thick with penises
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
