Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
