Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
