when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
