I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
