i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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