is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
