im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
