If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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