therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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