I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
