Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize