is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
