'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize