is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
