We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
