White coat. Heels.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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