I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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