somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
