i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I party with great urgency now.
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