You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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