Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
