Three words: puerto rican gang bang
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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