let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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