Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
