you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize