remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
