first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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