So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
