i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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