Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
