hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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