We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
