when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
