so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
