Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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