i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
