So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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