I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
