Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
