i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
