the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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