Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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