We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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