a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
