are you still at the devil's house?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
