she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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