i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
