Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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