More tranny stories later!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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