ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
