Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
