hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
