Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize