i just had sex bonerless
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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