I CAN MOONWALK!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
