loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
After tacos, we're chasing women.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
