well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
