but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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