i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
