Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He passed out mid-signature
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
