Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Randomize
