his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
